


Darkchildren and Werewolves

by MikeJaffa



Category: New Mutants
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-06-07 02:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15208616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikeJaffa/pseuds/MikeJaffa
Summary: Illyana and Rahne run into a character from Rahne’s fairy tale.  Then things get weird.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After my last few Illyana/Rahne fics, I wanted to write something…lighter. I don’t know if it really fits the bill, but I hope it works.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: The New Mutants are owned by Marvel. I am making no money off writing this fic.

“‘What do you want, you silly demon?’” Rahne Sinclair quoted to herself. She was sitting at the kitchen table in Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, dressed in her PJs and a bathrobe. While Magneto and Dani, Sam, and Shan had gone to Newark Airport to greet Lady Moira, Rahne had been left at the school where she had been laid up with, of all things, kennel cough for the past week. It turned out that being a werewolf left her open to both human and canine diseases. Even with the medicine Lady Moira had sent from Scotland by FedEx, Rahne had been bedridden for days.

Rahne wasn’t alone at the house. Warlock and Doug were running diagnostics in the danger room while Illyana busied herself with—of all things—house cleaning. All had periodically looked in on Rahne. She had finally felt well enough to get out of bed and try to eat something and make progress on the fairy tale she had started weeks ago. 

So far, she had not made any progress.

She closed her eyes and put herself in the place of her heroine, the enchanted princess Alystraea, facing the armored demon, Princess Evelle (who apart from being grown up and having horns, a tail, and red skin, looked like an adult Illyana), on the border between Alystraea’s enchanted forest and Evelle’s blasted demonic kingdom. And as she had for weeks, Evelle just stood there.

“Come on,” Rahne muttered, “I haven’t got all day. What do you want?”

Rahne jumped at Illyana Rasputin’s voice: “What I want is a slice of cake and a soda while I take a break.” She walked past Rahne and headed for the refrigerator and opened it.

“Sorry,” Rhane said, as Illyana cut herself a slice of cake. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

Illyana turned to face Rahne. Then she frowned, and her lower lip trembled. “Oh, Rahne,” she said sadly. “There’s another witch, isn’t there?”

“Wot?”

“I thought I was the only spawn of Satan for you,” Illyana went on melodramatically, “but I guess you’re too used to my evil to quote scriptures about it anymore. WAAAAAAHH!” She made a show of mock sniffles and said, “Who is it? Is it Tarot from the Hellions? It is her, isn’t it? Tell me, Rahne. I’m a big demon. I can take it.”

“Oh, give it a rest! You should know you’re the only witch in my life—” Rahne broke off, then wondered at herself, “Why did I put it that way?”

Illyana smiled and chuckled as she brought her cake and soda to the table and sat facing Rahne. “I’m just teasing you, Rahne. Seriously, what are you doing?” She ate some cake. 

“I’m working on a story.”

Illyana’s chewing slowed and she swallowed. “The last time you did that--”

“I know, but nothing has happened this time.”

“Ok. Can I read it?”

“If you don’t laugh at me.”

“I won’t.” 

Rahne passed the book to Illyana. 

Illyana read it. A smile twitched at her lips. “Rumblebun. That’s cute…. Prince Duncan! Sounds like ‘Berto…. sounds a LOT like ‘Berto. Can’t blame ya…” She read some more. “Princess Evelle! Oooh, the plot thickens…. And you modeled her after me! How sweet. I love the name…here we are, ‘All right, you silly demon--’ Silly? Moi? I guess Aly meant it in a good way.” 

“‘Aly’? Hmmm….”

“Anyway ‘—you silly demon. What do you want?’ Aaaaaaannnnnddddddd….” She flipped the page and flipped back. “…hasn’t said anything yet. What a cliffhanger! Now I’m dying of curiosity.” She closed the book and passed it back. “Love it. I’m hooked. Can I read it when it’s done?”

“Sure, if I get it done.” She coughed. “I’ve been stuck for a month. It’s got into my dreams. And then there’s this bloody infection, if you’ll excuse my language…”

“Oh, that bug won’t get you. You’re on the mend.”

“You can tell that just from looking at me? What am I saying? Of course, you can.”

“Seeing souls can come in handy, Rahne.” 

“Oh.” Rahne cleared her throat. “Anything else you can do?”

“If you’re asking if I can make pet demons like Demon Bear did, theoretically, yes.”

“‘Theoretically’?”

Illyana looked away for a moment; she seemed a million miles away. Then she looked back at Rahne. “Let’s just say the Demon Bear made it look easy. I wouldn’t even try something like that unless it was absolutely necessary, and I had no other option. And leave it at that.”

Rahne looked at Illyana, then said, “Ok.”

Illyana grinned. “Great!” She’d finished her cake and drank her soda. She stood up. “Back to work. No rest for the wicked.”

“Oh, is that why you never sleep?”

“Cute.”

Rhane turned back to her book as Illyana left the kitchen. Then Rahne heard some thumps and grunts from outside. Rahne had just decided to turn around when the noises stopped.

Then Illyana called, “Rahne, can you come in here for a minute?”

Rahne left the kitchen. She found Illyana with her hair a little tussled. But at arm’s length, she held what looked like a two-foot-tall 3-D cartoon rabbit by the ridiculously long ears.

Rahne’s eyes widened. “Rumblebun!?”

Rumblebun ineffectually punched and kicked. “I have Evelle on the ropes, princess! I’ll protect you!”

“No, no,” Rhane said. “Evelle and I have, um, an accord. A truce. She’s, uh, not a threat. Illy—Evelle, please put him down.”

Illyana put the rabbit down. He glared up at her while hopping closer to Rahne.

Rahne knelt and stroked his ears. “There, there, Love. She didn’t hurt you too badly, did she? Now, how did you get there?”

“I don’t know. I was in my den, and then I was facing…her. What is this place, princess?”

“Um…”

Illyana called from the entrance to the den: “Excuse me…Aly? Can we have a little high-level conference?”

“Of course.” Rahne turned back to Rumblebun. “Princess business. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok.”

In the den, Illyana said, “Do I have to state the obvious?”

“That he’s not really Runblebun?” Rahne said. “Yes, I know.”

“You sure? I mean, are you sure you’re being objective about this? Because it looks like you’re buying into it.”

“Do you have a better idea than playing al--” Rahne broke off. Both girls looked down.

Rumblebun stood between them, smiling, looking up with unbridled enthusiasm.

Illyana slapped a hand over her eyes. “I am never going to hear the end of this. Never, ever, ever, ever.”

“Ok,” Rahne said, “let’s start with the obvious: this isn’t one of your creatures.”

“No, there’s nothing like that in Limbo.”

A high, squeaky voice said, “Squidge! Of course not—squidge! —because I got out—squidge!”

Illyana spun to the source of the voice, a creature about the size of a rabbit but with longer arms, buck teeth, and large, triangular ears sitting on the arm of the sofa. “Squidge!?” she yelped.

Squidge leapt into her arms. “Hi, ‘Yana! Squidge!” 

Rahne’s eyes almost bugged out of her head as Illyana began rocking the little creature in her arms. It was as if years had vanished and she was acting like a little girl. If Rahne hadn’t seen it with her own eyes, she never would have believed it.

Illyana said, “Oh, Squidgey, Squidgey, Squidgey! I’ve missed you so much.” She gave it a kiss on the head. “But how did you get here? The last time I saw you…” She choked off. “I thought…”

“I don’t know what happened either—squidge! —but I’m here now—squidge! –and I can stay with you forever.”

“Of course!” Illyana happily brought Squidge up to her cheek. “I’ll take good care of you. And you can meet my friends and join the team and we’ll be happy forever.”

Rahne took a step closer. “Um, Illyana, can I have a word--”

Illyana glared. “Don’t you hurt my Squidge!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Rahne said. “I’m just wondering…how you know him.”

“He was my pet in Limbo when I was a little girl. I raised him from birth, and he loves me.”

“Squidge!” Squidge interjected. “And I love you more than anyone. Squidge!”

“Yes, Squidge, you do.”

Rahne said, “It’s just that you never mentioned him before. What happened?”

Illyana turned away. “Time is strange in Limbo. He’s here now. That’s all that matters.”

“Illyana,” Rahne said. “What. Happened. To. Squidge?”

Red smoke billowed in the room. A voice boomed out of it: “Squidge died after my darkchild turned him into a monster!” A red hand came out of the smoke and grabbed Illyana’s sleeve. The hand, a left hand, was attached to the body of a man with red skin, horns, and a tail.

“Belasco!” Illyana wailed, panic stricken. 

Rahne ignored Illyana’s uncharacteristic panic as she started seeing the pattern, from Rumblebun to Squide to Belasco… 

Belasco grinned. “Did you think I didn’t know you were here? I wanted Xavier and his whelps to do some of my work for me. But now it is time for you to come with me, and together, we can make the last two--”

Rahne interrupted, “You’ll be in big trouble when Reverend Craig gets here!”

Belasco frowned. “Who?”

“The man who raised me,” Rahne said. “He’s got God on his side. His faith has shriven demons--”

A bearded man burst into the den. “Demon!” he shouted, holding a Bible in front of him. “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.”

Belasco hissed and let go of Illyana, who seemed disoriented.

Craig crossed to Rahne. “Child,” he said, “I had a long talk with Lady Moira--”

“No, you didn’t!” Rahne said. “You’re not real.” She turned to Illyana. “None of them are real. We think of them, and then they appear.”

Illyana stared blankly. Then she opened her right hand and the soulsword appeared in it, armor coating her left arm and right leg. A flash of silver light and Rumblebun, Squidge, Belasco, and Reverend Craig disappeared.

Rahne turned back to Illyana. The wonder and joy on the young sorceress’ face had faded to be replaced by what Rahne found a more familiar emotion:

Berserker rage.

Rahne almost found it reassuring. Almost. She said, “They vanished when you summoned your sword. So we were under a spell.”

“Yes,” Illyana growled. “And I know where the source is: the danger room.”

“Doug and Warlock.” She went to stand beside Illyana. “All right let’s go!”

“You up to this?”

“You have to ask?”

A stepping disk flashed under them, and they were in Limbo. Another disk and they were in the danger room.

Doug and Warlock were propped up against the wall. 

Rahne changed to half wolf and went over to them. “Doug’s just out,” she said, “but I can’t tell about Warlock--”

Illyana squinted at Doug and Warlock. “They’ll be all right.”

“How do you--? Oh, right.”

“Our enemies are up in the control room.”

As they vaulted up the stairs, they heard a voice man’s voice with an Irish accent say, “Pull yourself together, Paddy! So what if they’re mutants? They’re still just kids. Cast the spell again!”

“No, Sean,” another Irish voice said. “You don’t understand. One of them is--”

Illyana and Rahne burst in. There were a dozen…Rhane couldn’t say midgets. They were middle aged men with long beards and green outfits and all about two feet tall. The room was a mess as panels had been opened and monitors had been taken down. Parts and wires were strewn over the floor.

Illyana brandished her sword and snarled, “Pissed off! Oh, and you’re magical beings, meaning my sword can kill you…or worse. Not a good day to be you.”

Rahne sputtered, “What are they? They look like leprechauns.”

“They are leprechauns,” Illyana answered. 

“What are they doing?” 

“Robbing us. Where do you think their gold comes from? And other dimensions don’t have as much tech as Earth’s universe. It goes for a pretty penny there. My guess they bought the spell they used at an interdimensional trading post. If we hadn’t broken it, they would have stripped the house of everything more advanced than a nail before it wore off.”

“Huh. Why do they have gold at the end of the rainbow?”

“That goes back to when one of their con men was selling the rainbow bridge to Asgard. Word is the Asgardians are still steamed.”

A leprechaun smiled, and when he spoke, they recognized Sean’s voice: “Aye, but a lovely scam it was--”

Illyana took a step forward. The leprechauns flinched, and Sean finished, “…but I can see the other point of view.”

A white-haired little man was sitting on the floor in the middle of the group, looking a little groggy. He spoke with the second voice Illyana and Rahne had heard: “I started to tell you, Sean, one of them is a demon child! The spell won’t work on her now that she knows what to expect.”

Illyana growled, “And you’re going to pay for it. And I’m not feeling forgiving enough to just kill you.”

“No, no!” Sean stammered. “This was all a misunderstanding. We thought this, uh, was a Shi’ar base. We can get this stuff anywhere. We’ll put it all back and make sure your friends are ok.”

Illyana raised her sword. “You think that will be enough after what your bargain basement spell did to me?” she snarled. 

Sean fell to his knees. “Mercy, demon princess!” he wailed. “We’ll do anything.”

Rahne put her hand on Illyana’s hands. The girls exchanged glances; it was clear Rahne didn’t want any bloodshed. 

Illyana calmed herself with effort and turned to Sean. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

8

8

“I really shouldn’t,” Rahne said as she accepted a slice of cake from one of the leprechauns. A violin sonata played on the stereo system as the little green-garbed men busied themselves with cleaning the house.

Illyana had her own slice of cake. “Rahne, take it from me: it takes a lot more than the odd slice of cake when you’re under the weather to corrupt a soul in any noticeable way.”

“Um, ok, but I’ll be double-checking with my preacher on Sunday.” She ate a bite of cake. 

“By all means, get a second opinion. You spend an extra hour there anyway. But how are you going explain why you’re asking?”

“Well, it could be honest to say you practice an ‘alternative religion’ and we disagree on spiritual matters.” She ate another bit of cake. “Speaking of awkward questions, how are you going to explain all this to Magneto? When is he getting back, anyway?”

“That’s a good question,” Illyana said. “I lost track of time. But I guess if the plane wasn’t too late and the traffic wasn’t too heavy, Magneto and the others should be back…”

Sean walked in and announced with stiff formality, “M’ladies, presenting Lady Moira MacTaggert, Headmaster Magneto, and associates.” Magneto walked in, hands in his suit pockets, disturbingly affable in his demeanor, Moira, Dani, Shan, and Sam following behind. 

Illyana and Rahne couldn’t hide their alarm. Illyana finished, “Right about now.” Both girls put their cake on the coffee table and stood before Magneto.

Magneto was smiling. “‘M’Ladies.’ I like what you’re doing with the place. Tell me…where did you get the new help?”

“Ah,” Illyana said, “well, as you can see, they’re leprechauns.”

“Leprechauns?” Magneto asked.

“Aye,” Rahne said. “They were here to rob us. That’s where they get their gold. They’re thieves.”

“This crew was going to strip the place of its high tech,” Illyana explained, “especially the stuff from the Shi’ar empire.”

“They had us bewitched with a spell, but we broke it and, uh….”

“…uh, well, Rhane didn’t think I should slaughter them, and I’m not sure how to send them back to their own dimension. So this seemed like a decent way to keep them out of trouble.”

“I see,” Magneto said. “Well, I think I am still on speaking terms with someone who knows someone who knows someone who can get them home. Why don’t you two wait in my office?”

Illyana and Rahne trooped out of the den.

Magneto turned to Dani, Sam, and Shan. “Help Douglas and Warlock. And then all of you can check the house over. Especially the silverware.”

Dani said, “On it,” and the three kids left.

Moira said, “Well, Illyana and Rahne seem to be getting along. I’d been worried after that exorcism she told me about.”

“Yes,” Magneto said. “Then again, there’s an old acting saying: Never work with children or animals. I think we can amend that to darkchildren and werewolves.”

8

8

_‘What do you want, you silly demon?’ Alystraea asks. ‘I haven’t got all day.’_

_‘Goblins have crossed the river to the south,’ Evelle answers. ‘Since it’s near both our borders, I thought you would like to have a look.’_

_‘That I would.’_

_‘Well then, since you said you’re pressed for time, let’s go.’_

_And so Alystraea mounts her white charger and Evelle gets on her dark warhorse and the two princesses ride away…_

…and Rahne woke up. 

8

8

Clutching her notebook, Rahne took a deep breath and knocked on Illyanna’s door.

The door opened a crack. Rahne couldn’t see who was there and guessed Illyanna hadn’t opened it. 

Rahne said, “Excuse me for calling at this late hour, but is your mistress available? It’s not urgent.”

The door closed partway for a moment, then opened again. Rahne crept into the room. She couldn’t see anyone but Illyana, but doubted they were alone.

Illyana was sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes. “Hey, kiddo.”

“Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s no problem, and it was nice of you not to barge in. What’s up?”

Rahne sat on the edge of the bed. “I added a few lines to my story.”

Illyana turned on the light and accepted the notebook. She read the new passage and said, “Yuoogh! Goblins. They’ll be a problem.”

“You sure?”

“Demons consider goblins to be low-lifes, so yeah, the princesses have their work cut out for them.” She closed the book, passed it back, and grew more serious. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For holding me back. Those little green scabs…punched too many buttons.”

“You and me both.”

“But you kept your head and did the right thing. I try but sometimes, I have a little trouble seeing it.” 

“No problem. Anytime.” She got up to leave.

“Hey, Rahne. Not to be critical, but do you have any idea how your story ends?”

Rahne paused at the door and smiled. “Not yet. But I think it’s off to a good start.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I thought this story would be a one shot. But then some disparate ideas I have had pulled together for more material. So, on with the show:

_Alysytraea wraps her shawl around herself against the biting cold as she stands in the fog-enshrouded cemetery on the grounds of Evelle’s castle. She stands before the lone headstone, Princess Evelle’s grave marker. Though the grave appears well tended, there is no sign that anyone has visited._

_Even though it is years since the demon princess met her fate, Alystraea had hesitated to come and pay her respects. Even though they had been sometimes allies and sometimes rivals, Alystraea has to admit that fear has kept her away, fear of confronting the reality that Evelle is gone. And now that she stands in front of the grave, she does not know what to say._

_Footsteps sound from the fog, off to her left. Alystraea turns and looks._

_A figure begins to step out of the fog. Alystraea can not make it out, but it appears to be someone the size and shape of Evelle._

_‘Who is there?’ Alystraea calls. ‘Who…Evelle…no, it can’t…_ ’

_‘Horror story or children’s book?’ Emma Frost says from over Alystraea’s shoulder. ‘Either way, Rahne, I never knew you had such an active imagination.’_

_Alystraea turns to face the White Queen. ‘What…who…Miss Frost? What’s going on?’_

_‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to intrude on your dream, but to be honest, I’ve always been a sword and sorcery fan myself. Anyway, it’s time to wake up.’_

…and Rahne woke up in the guest room at Utopia, Emma Frost sitting in a chair next to the bed.

Emma smiled gently. “I’m sorry, Rahne. I wanted to make sure Reverend Craig hadn’t left any subconscious surprises—like orders to kill your old teammates on sight. And in my experience, the best time to check for that is when the subject is asleep. I didn’t mean to intrude, but I got drawn in by that storyline that’s been bopping around in your noggin. Alystraea and Evelle…you really should write books based on that.”

Rahne sat up. “It’s just something silly I came up with when I was younger. I don’t think anyone would be interested. Especially from a mutant.”

“Suit yourself.”

“So…am I ok? Or did my father leave any traps behind in me head?”

“What? Oh! No, you’re fine.” Emma paused. “And Rahne, you really are too forgiving for your own good. He may have been the room when you were conceived, but in your shoes, I wouldn’t really call him ‘father.’”

“Maybe, but I’m not you, and he was what he was.”

“Fair enough.” Emma stood up. “Also, the cafeteria went offline just as everyone got up. Something we thought was fixed went kerblewie, so there’s no hot food for anyone. If you want to eat before visiting…her, you’ll have to wait.”

“No, let’s get this over with. I’ll get dressed and be right with you.”

8

8

Rahne stilled her nervousness as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. She and Emma walked to the lone cell at the end of the corridor, where Illyana Rasputin—or the…entity claiming to be Illyana Rasputin--sat cross-legged on her bunk, eyes closed, LED’s on her high-tech bomb vest blinking. 

Rahne and Emma stopped three feet short of the plexiglass cell door. Emma said, “Has Danger informed you of the cafeteria situation?”

“Yes,” Illyana said, “although I don’t mind. I think I may have gained some weight since I was imprisoned, and I want to maintain my figure.” 

“Well,” Emma said, “Scott has us obeying the Geneva Convention, so you will be fed as soon as possible.”

“As you will.” Illyana opened her eyes. “And I was going to alert Danger to some mystical disturbances, but I guess we know what’s causing that. There’s no need to alert Kitty and Peter. This will be totally passive.” 

Illyana stared at Rahne, and Rahne felt a chill pass through her. 

Illyana raised her eyes to Rahne and said, “Who did the work on you?”

“What?” Rahne said. “Oh. Elixr.”

“He did a good job,” Illyana said. “Transforming a human into a demigod isn’t easy, but from a mystical perspective, he covered all his bases. Your chakras are firing on all cylinders.” Illyana shifted to Emma. “You will want to send her to Doctor Strange and have him take a look at her. He’s the sorcerer supreme and a medical doctor, so he can double check from all angles. But from where I sit, she looks ok.” Illyana closed her eyes. 

Rahne said, “That’s it? That’s all you have to say to me?”

Illyana opened her eyes. “Well, that is why you’re here, isn’t it?” Illyana asked matter-of-factly. “To have the resident witch check on your condition? Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Rahne said, “but no, that’s not it at all. I was here anyway, and I thought it would be a good time have a word with you. In private.”

“About?”

“That’s between us.”

“Oh…of course.” Illyana shifted her gaze to Emma.

“That’s my cue,” Emma said. “Danger will be monitoring; this will not be totally private. And yes, Rahne, I will get that contact information for you.” Emma turned and left the cell block.

Illyana unfolded her legs. “Well, Rahne, I’m sorry I can’t offer you a chair.” 

“That’s all right.” Rahne sat on the floor.

Illyana slid to the floor and sat cross-legged on the other side of the door from Rahne. “Well, this is a surprise, Rahne. I don’t remember you and Illyana Rasputin being very close, so I didn’t think you would come to see me.”

“So…you’re not really the Illyana I knew?”

“Hmmm…have you spoken to Emma about this?”

“Yes, she said you’re a copy?”

“Essentially.”

“So what do I call you?”

“Illyana will be fine. I don’t have any other name, not really.”

“I’m still confused.”

“I really can’t add anything to what you’ve already been told, Rahne. You will just have to make up your own mind about what to do with that information. Whether you accept me or reject me is your choice, and whatever you chose is fine with me.”

“It’s just…I already lost Illyana…you…twice…and I don’t know if I could bear to hear something had happened to you.”

Illyana seemed a little flustered. “That’s very sweet of you, Rahne, but I have been given to understand this is the safest place on Utopia. As long as I’m incarcerated, you can rest assured that in all probability, nothing will happen to me.”

“Unless that’s why you’re here.”

“I don’t follow you.”

“I think this setup—you wired to explode—is a recipe for suicide. And regardless of who or what you are, suicide is a mortal sin, and I cannot allow that.”

“Well, Rahne, my soul is way past any strictures in your religion, and even then, I don’t see how I can kill myself under Danger’s constant watch.”

“Don’t you?”

“You’ve lost me.”

“It’s called Death by Cop,” Rahne explained. “Some bloke decides he can’t go on living, but he can’t off himself. So does something to pick a fight with the cops—say going up on a roof and firing with a rifle—until the cops come and shoot him.

“I think you’re looking at Death by Superhero Fight. Sooner or later there’s bound to be another big attack, isn’t there? You’re hoping it’s come down to you. Maybe you’ll have to teleport a bomb away. Or maybe cast a spell or use your soulsword. But there’ll be no time to get that bomb jacket off. BOOM! You’re blown to bits. And everyone you will leave behind will be like, ‘Oh, maybe Illyana wasn’t so bad, look how she gave her life for us, oh boo-hoo-hoo.’”

Illyana just stared at Rahne. Finally, she said, “Wow, Rahne…huh. That’s very interesting. I hadn’t considered that.” She paused, then: “That does have a logic to it. And I can see how someone might plan something like that. But that is not me.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“My intention is to regain the trust of my friends, and I can only do it on their terms.”

“Are you daft?” Rahne snapped. “Do you honestly think all can be forgiven after what you’ve done?”

“I admit, I don’t expect it to be quick or easy,” Illyana said, “but I did it before and I can do it again.”

“What, when we were kids? No, that was a completely different situation. Back then we didn’t know any better. We were scared because of what we knew from movies and from just having fought Selene--”

“Oh, that’s right! I didn’t think of that at the time.”

“You mean the original Illyana didn’t think of it at the time.”

“As you will. Anyway…” Illyana prompted. 

“Anyway,” Rahne went on, “we were scared of Illyana but as she did right by us, we learned to trust her. But you, you took that history and took advantage of it. And in so doing threw what goodwill there was towards you under the bus. And don’t get me started on lies. It just takes one lie, just one, to blow up any relationship, and you’ve lied a bunch. There’s no coming back from that.”

“How do you know so much about human behavior?”

“I was a church deacon for a while. I had to take a course in counseling in order to properly counsel parishioners. Stop trying to change the subject.”

“All right. What would you have me do?”

“Go back to limbo and stay there. I’m sure Scott can be persuaded to--”

“No.” Illyana’s tone left no room for argument. “That is not an option, Rahne.”

“You’re just as stubborn as the old Illyana was, I’ll give you that.”

“And your duplicity is disappointing. I thought you were here to make some kind of overture. Instead, you just want to make the ‘spawn of Satan’ you never liked go away.”

“That’s not it at all!”

Illyana closed her eyes. “I no longer wish to converse with--”

The floor shook with a muffled explosion. The lights went out. Then the emergency lights went on.

Rahne changed to half wolf as she and Illyana stood.

Illyana said, “Danger? What’s happening?”

No answer.

Illyana opened her right hand. Then she shook herself and glared at Rahne. “Oh! I get it.”

“What?” Rahne asked.

“I almost summoned the soulsword. I would have gone up like a Roman candle. Did you set this up?”

“What? Of course not! Why would you think that? The Illyana I knew wouldn’t--”

Light filled the room, making both young women flinch. It faded and they found themselves facing five men: In the center of the group was a muscular, middle-aged man, bald with a gray fringe, a patch over one eye, and a bandolier with half a dozen daggers in it over a dark blue robe. He was flanked by four younger men who wore hooded cloaks with the subtle bulges of hidden weapons.

Illyana said, “Silver Dagger! You’re behind this?”

“Alas, no,” the middle-aged man said, “it just seems to be busy here this morning. But I am pleased that my reputation has preceded me. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Magik.”

“Likewise, I’m sure,” Illyana said dryly.

“Sorry,” Rahne said, “but you two know each other?”

Illyana said, “We’ve never met, but I have heard of him. Wolfsbane, meet Silver Dagger. Yes, that is his code name. Silver Dagger, Wolfsbane. He’s a defrocked cardinal, Rahne, who studied grimoires in the Vatican’s library and went a little cuckoo. So now he tries to use white magic to kill other sorcerers and werewolves.”

“True werewolves,” Silver Dagger corrected. “I wasn’t sure until I’d seen you, but you, Wolfsbane, are not a true werewolf.”

“Excuse me?” Rahne pointed at herself. “Body hair, pointy ears, fangs, super honker, seems werewolfy to me.”

“He means that you weren’t bitten by another werewolf,” Illyana explained, “and change on the full Moon and eat human beings. Not that kind of werewolf.”

“Oh. Thank you clearing that up.” Rahne half turned to Silver Dagger than turned back towards Illyana. “So there are such werewolves?”

“Oh, yeah,” Illyana said, “and silver does kill them. Hence Silver Dagger’s silver daggers.” She smiled. “Say that ten times fast.”

“This isn’t funny!” Rahne snapped. “This is exactly what I was talking about.”

“Oh no, no, no. Completely different situation. Not what you were talking about at all.”

“We’ve got a big fight going on, Illyana.”

“I don’t agree, Rahne. I think this could be one of those touch-and-go situations where you think someone is screwed but not really.”

“Or it could be something you think is a nothing burger but has lasting implications, like when Storm lost her powers.”

Silver Dagger cleared his throat.

Illyana and Rahne looked at him.

“As I was saying ladies,” Silver Dagger said, “yes, we are here to kill the darkchild. You, Wolfsbane, are a different matter. While you are not a true hell-spawned werewolf--”

“Told you,” Illyana said to Rahne.

“I know.”

“As I was saying,” Silver Dagger went on, “while you are not a true werewolf, the baby you are carrying is an abomination in the sight of the Lord. However, if you surrender to us and allow us to kill the demoness, we can remove it from you.

“And in case either or both of your ladies are considering resisting, let us review the situation: Your fellows are otherwise occupied and can not come to your rescue in time. Magik is wired to explode if she uses either her mutants powers or her sorcery, you are outnumbered more than 2-to-1, and our weapons are quite capable of killing both of you. Do make it easier on yourselves, and surrender, please.”

Rahne turned to Illyana. “Well, at least he said ‘please.’”

8

8

Rahne and Illyana slid shut the door to Illyana’s cell, where Silver Dagger and his acolytes lay, beaten, bruised, a few cuts, their clothes torn, and bound by glowing chains Illyana had conjured. 

Rahne returned to human form as Illyana said, “That will hold them until we contact Doctor Strange.” She went to the corner and crouched over what was left of her bomb vest. “I just can’t have nice things.” Ilyana’s jump suit was torn and so was Rahne’s blouse. They had a few bruises but were ok otherwise.

Rahne said, “I’m sure they can make a much more stylish replacement. That one wasn’t you.” She turned to Silver Dagger. “If you want things to go easy on you, call off the attack.”

“I have nothing to do with it,” Silver Dagger said. 

“A likely story.”

“I have no reason to lie, Wolfsbane.”

Rahne turned to Illyana. “You believe him?”

“There’s still sorcery here,” Illyana said. “If we’ve taken out him and his acolytes, and it’s not your presence, then what is it?”

Rahne turned back to the cell. “You, Silver Dagger. Why did you attack today?”

Silver Dagger looked away.

Illyana said, “It would be in your best interest to answer her question. I’m not going to be locked up down here forever, and I don’t take kindly to my friends being mistreated in *any* way.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Silver Dagger said, “a familiar I trafficked with in the past volunteered that this would be an opportune time to deal with the darkchild as the X-Men would be too busy to guard her.”

“Lucky you.”

“Maybe not,” Rahne said.

“What are you thinking?” Illyana asked.

“Reverend Craig had a sermon—don’t roll your eyes, bear with me—he had a sermon on how the Devil used demons to influence people,” Rahne said, “and I remember all the minor demons we used to run into. I’m wondering if someone could use creatures like that to put the word out…”

“‘If you want something on Utopia,’” Illyana said, “‘this would be a good time to attack because they’ll have their hands full.’ And the ones they can’t contact directly they influence.”

“And when they show up and see other people attacking,” Rahne said, “they think the tip or the ‘idea’ was good. What do you think?”

Illyana extended her hands. An upside-down pentagram of fire appeared in the air in front of her. She said, “Now that I can do an active scan…if I isolate every source that I know of…there’s something up top, but that’s flickering…and a steadier source down here. Looks like it’s in Danger’s control room.”

“Why would someone magical want something in Danger’s room?”

The pentagram vanished. “Only one way to find out.”

They crept down the service corridor to the door to Danger’s control room. They could hear muffled voices and noises on the other side. Illyana held back with her soulsword as Rahne, in half-wolf form, worked her fingers into the door’s seam and tried to push the two halves apart. It didn’t budge.

The sword floated in place when Illyana let go of it, and she crept to one half of the door while Rahne positioned herself on the other side. The air rippled as Illyana transformed into an armored demon. They put their fingers in the central seam. Illyana mouthed, ‘One…two…three!’ They pulled on the door and it slid open.

Danger was face down and inert on the floor, surrounded by two-foot-tall bearded men trying to pry her apart with various tools. 

Rahne recognized the leprechauns from years before and her eyes found their leader. “Sean!?” she yelped.

Sean turned away from Danger and gawked at the two young women. “Oh, bloody hell! Not you two again!?”

8

8

Cyclops, Emma, Wolverine, and Jubliee practically leapt out of the elevator when the door opened and ran down the cell block. They got to the door to the control room and gawked.

Danger was face down on a work table, the leprechauns surrounding her with the little men working on her with buffing tools.

“Ooooh…” The android moaned, “a little to the left. The other left--” She noticed the dumb-struck mutants. “I’ll be a few minutes. Then we have to contact Doctor Strange.”

“Yeah,” Scott managed, “uh…Jubilee will be waiting outside.”

8

8

“Stop it!” Rahne said. She was sitting next to Illyana on top of one of Utopia’s towers. Illyana had her head between her knees as she laughed.

Illyana looked up at Rahne. “How old was Elixir at the time? Shouldn’t you be in jail?”

“Oh, God. Why can’t the sentinels attack when you need them?”

“And then you went to Hrimhari! Do you realize how old he was? Young in Asgardian terms, but…”

“Everyone I’ve talked to says you’re such a sour puss! No one will believe I’ve actually talked to you.”

“Oh, Rahne, Rahne, Rahne! Where did I go wrong? I just wanted you to loosen up, but not like that!”

“I thought you said you weren’t the Illyana I grew up with.”

Illyana held her smile. “You’re right. I’m not. But I keep forgetting. So technically, yes, you and I didn’t meet before today. But I look at you and think of all the times we’ve had over the years.” Illyana’s smile widened. “The time at the slumber party when Sam didn’t recognize you?”

“Oh, God…” Both women laughed. “Poor Sam,” Rahne finished. 

“I know,” Illyana said. “But my point is, if I forget sometimes, I can’t blame anyone else for getting confused, now, can I?”

“Thanks for making me not feel stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Rahne. In some ways you’re very wise.” She thought for a moment. “You know, Dough and Warlock are also ‘back.’ I’m sure under the circumstances, Dani could see her way to putting the past behind you and letting you back on the team.”

A pained look crossed Rahne’s face. “I can’t. I already talked to Scott about it. He offered me a place here on something other than Wloverine’s black ops team. I already said ‘no.’”

“Because of your baby?” Illyana paused. “Or…me?”

“Partly, but not in the way you’re thinking. Maybe my beliefs seem silly to you, but my faith in the Lord has always sustained me. And yet from the moment my powers fist manifested, I seemed to be living the exact opposite form what I had been taught to believe. But I thought I had made my peace with it. No matter what I did or who I was with, it was part of God’s plan for me. But look at me. I killed my father. I’m carrying the baby of a dead minor heathen god. And I’m pouring out my troubles to a hell spawn who may or may not be one of my oldest friends back from the dead depending on who I ask and how bad a headache it gives me. And did I mention Hrimhari and I weren’t married? I’m more uncertain than ever. I have to sort this out. I have to get right with God, or see what I’m missing. I won’t be able to give anyone my best until I do, and Scott needs people at their best. So I’m going back to Britain. I already have a call into X-Factor. We’ll see. I know it must make me a terrible coward, but until I work this out, I have to be somewhere else.”

Illyana smiled and put an arm around Rahne’s shoulders. “Oh, Rahne. You’re not a coward. And nothing about you has ever been silly to me. Do what you must do to renew yourself. You’ll be all the stronger for it. Besides, you just said you think I could be your old friend. That’s better than ‘definitely not’ and means the others can’t be a lost cause.”

“I suppose. But if something happens…”

“You will be blameless. And I’ll make sure word gets to you about the responsible parties. Having a pissed off Scottish Werewolf come after them should give them pause.”

“I’m your insurance policy? You must be hard up. Sounds more like Wolverine’s thing.”

“You’re cuter.”

“Thanks…I think.” 

The two women looked out over San Francisco bay. Rahne chuckled. “Funny,” she said.

“What?” Illyana asked. 

“I keep thinking I never got to ask Reverend Craig if he ever got back to Brighton. We used to go every summer. It was a long trip by coach and by train, but I loved it. I always hoped he’d keep going, but I keep thinking I should taken the opportunity to ask. Really silly, especially considering--”

They heard Dani’s voice over their shoulders: “Are we interrupting something? Hmmm…Shan? What do you think?”

“Could be smoky,” Shan said, “but it could also just be smog.”

“Hmmmm. Still, when two people go out of their way to act like they don’t like each other, you have to wonder what’s really going on.” 

Illyana and Rahne stood and turned to see Dani coming across the roof with Sam, ‘Berto, Shan, Amara, Doug, and Warlock. All but Warlock were dressed in street clothes.

Rahne didn’t hide her nervousness. “Hi, Dani. Been a while.”

Dani looked at Rahne sternly. Then a smiled cracked. “I can’t stay mad at you.” She hugged Rahne. “Good to see you again, Carrot Top.” 

They disengaged. Rahne said, “So, um…” she trailed off.

“I can’t forgive you, not yet,” Dani said, “but I can move past it and give you another chance. Especially under the current circumstances. I don’t have the luxury of holding a grudge. What I’m trying to say, Rahne, is there’s a place for you on my team if you want it.”

Rahne thought of repeating what she told Illyana, but seeing Dani again made her take a different tack. She smiled. “You know how it is, Dani, there’s always one member of the band who can’t be bothered with a reunion.”

Roberto grinned. “Not to mention there’s also one in jail.”

Warlock puzzled, “Query: Band?”

Doug opened his mouth and a high-pitched squeak came out.

Warlock brightened literally and figuratively. “Colloquial reference understood! Thank you, selfsoulfriend Doug.”

Rahne’s eyes shifted to Illyana.

“Yeah,” Illyana said, “Doug had an upgrade on the ‘way back.’ He can speak binary, it seems.”

Doug smiled. “Like I always said, Rahne—there are ten types of people in the world…”

“‘…those who speak binary and those who don’t,’ I remember.” She let herself smile and hugged Doug. “It’s good to see you both again.” She released Doug and hugged Warlock. When she released him, she turned to Dani. “Seriously, I can’t give you—or anyone here—my best right now, so I have to leave. Sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Dani said. “I understand. We’ll just have to struggle along with rent-a-nose.” She smiled and lowered her voice: “Don’t ever tell Wolverine I called him that. And you’ve got a baby to think of. But you need help, you call, all right?”

“All right.”

She turned to Illyana. “Now about you. Not only has Danger not finished putting the cell block back together, but the cafeteria was up and running for all of five minutes before it was trashed again. You’ve behaved yourself well enough that Scott is letting us take you to breakfast. And since we caught you, Rahne, you get to come with us.”

Illyana smiled and looked at Rahne.

“Not a word,” Rahne said.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Illyana said. 

“You were thinking it.”

Dani’s eyes shifted between the demon sorceress and the werewolf. “Hmm. Anyway, ‘Yana, as soon as you can change into some street clothes…”

Silver fire flashed around Illyana and her coveralls were replaced by normal street clothes.

“…we’ll be—oh-kaaay, I guess we’re ready to go,” Dani finished. “So the question is now, where do we eat?” She pulled a printout out of her jacket pocket. “I have list of restaurants in San Francisco that aren’t too hostile to us.”

Illyana said, “Actually, I was wondering if we could go eat in Brighton?”

“Now!?” Rahne yelped. “They’re 8 hours ahead of us. It’s dinner time there.”

“So?” Illyana said. “Who says we can’t start the day with dinner?”

“It’s been years since I’ve been there—I have no idea where to eat.”

“I’m sure we’ll find someplace.”

Warlock stepped back. “Self will not partake. Self will continue harvesting lifeglow from local coral.”

Rahne smile. “Don’t worry, Warlock. We’ll catch after we got back from trashing the south coast.”

Dani said, “Whenever you’re ready, ‘Yana.”

Light flashed under the mutants and Warlock was left standing on the roof.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with chapter 2 and this chapter a couple of months ago, but I hesitated because to do this chapter because I wanted to see what happened in Uncanny X-Men. For a time, I thought it would be impossible; some of the gags and dialogue I had in mind wouldn’t work. Then Matt Rosenberg dropped the steaming pile of tragedy porn crap known to the outside world Uncanny X-Men #17 into humanity’s metaphorical lap. Strong words, I know, but I had a strong reaction to it. And I found this chapter not only worked but works as a response to that issue. A little tweaking to change the cast around, and the saga of Illyana, Rahne, and the Leprechauns continues. #never the end #rahne lives

_Chained to the wall of her cell, Alystraea raises her head as the door opens and two hooded figures enter._

_‘So what now?’ Alystraea challenges. ‘You’re taking me to your dark lord? My answer is the same as before.’_

_One of the figures throw back her hood, revealing the long dark hair and brown skin of her closest friend. ‘I should hope so,’ says Bright Moon, the Valkyrie. ‘He’s not your type.’_

_‘Bright Moon!?’_

_The other figure pulls back her hood, and of course, it’s Evelle. The demoness smiles. ‘Ready to leave?’ she asks. ‘Or would you rather keep hanging around in this dump?’_

_‘Ha, ha,’ Alystraea says. ‘Now that you’ve had your obligatory bad joke, why don’t you untie me and get me out of here?’_  
_Sean’s voice intrudes: ‘Ah, Rahne, Love, having a pleasant dream, are ye?’…_

…Rahne woke up and found herself lying on her back in a cage barely wide enough for her to lie prone in and barely big enough for her to stand up in. She felt a metal collar around her neck. The cage was on some kind of cart that creaked along what felt like a rocky or cobble-stone road. She could see other cages around her and smell the beasts who were pulling the cart. Armored creatures walked alongside it, and she saw goblins of some sort riding dragons as they flew overhead. A very large armored troll, maybe slightly larger than Juggernaut, brought up the rear.

As the fog cleared from Rahne’s brain, memory returned: Rahne had gone to take a shower before a meeting Scott had called in Harry’s Hideaway. She’d had soap in her eyes and had turned at a noise and everything had gone black. Until her dream and waking up in the cage.

She recognized the two-foot-tall bearded humanoid standing outside the cage, a corncob pipe hanging from his mouth. 

“Sean,” Rahne said. “May the Lord forgive me for not missing you at all.” She started to change but felt an electric shock from the collar and winced in pain as she reverted to human.

“Oh,” Sean said with a little sadistic glee, “I should have warned you: the collar is enchanted and will keep you in human form. We can’t have you running around and maybe hurting yourself before we reach market.”

“Market?”

“Aye. I kept you asleep until just now; I wanted to see the look on your face when I told you. You and that two-bit witch have caused me so much trouble in the past, I owe ya. See, the dimension we’re in is easily reached through portals from many other dimensions, so it’s a kind of a crossroads. Naturally, markets sprang up here, where you can buy and sell all sorts of things…and people.”

“People? You mean slaves?”

“Exactly.”

“What…wait, you mean to sell me into slavery?”

“That’s exactly what I mean to do, darlin’!”

Rahne considered the situation. Obviously, Sean wanted to get a rise out of her. So, her best bet was to stay calm, and hope he got too cocky and made a mistake.

She said smoothly, “That’s not like you, Sean. As I recall, you and your gang of leprechaun thieves stole technology, not people.” 

“Tech market’s a bit soft, Rahney, but there’s always a market for cheap labor. And in your case, there are brothels that’ll pay a lovely amount of gold for a comely werewolf. And before you get all defiant on me, they know how to make their girls obedient. And they won’t have to compel you eventually.”

“I see. And are these brothels also in the market for a, what did you say, a ‘two-bit witch’? I don’t see Illyana anywhere.”

“Too dangerous to snag her, and she’s emotionally unstable besides. But you were perfect! I couldn’t resist.”

“Aw, Sean. And I thought I would have wait for you to do something stupid. You’re already dead meat, you know that?”

“Am I, now?”

“Of course. How long do you think it will take Illyana to track me down? What do you think she’ll do once she catches you?”

Sean laughed. “She thinks you’re dead, Rahne! All the X-Men do. We replaced you with a golem, a perfect duplicate down to the cellular level with your memories imprinted on her. And she worked better than we could have imagined! She was supposed to leave the X-Men and she did. No one tried to stop her. Then she went to a park and before she could self-destruct, she got beaten to death by a bunch of lads.”

“Seriously? I don’t believe you. And the X-Men wouldn’t believe that I’d just been clobbered by a bunch of unarmed, unpowered lads, not with all the experience I have in using me powers.” 

“See for yourself.” Sean took a small mirror out of his pocket. She watched as the copy of herself was accosted by some teenage boys who fell on her, their fists rising and falling. Sean narrated as the images changed: “’Twas a lovely funeral you had, Love. You should have been there. The witch and the Valkyrie both said wonderful things about you. And a bit of drama when your Mr. Logan went and got revenge on ‘your’ killers.” The images faded and Sean put the mirror back in his pocket. “They’re not comin’, Darlin’. As far as they’re concerned, you’re pushing up daisies.”

Strangely enough, Rahne felt no panic and remained calm. “Wow, Sean. You certainly have it all thought out. And I have to credit you for the resources you’ve brought to bear. This caravan is certainly impressive.”

“Oh, aye. Expensive, yes, but worth it when you consider what you will fetch me.”

“And where did you get that golem you mentioned?”

“From Mojoworld! It was really a partly magical android. They had ‘em cheap, but it was surprisingly effective.”

“I see. Then I guess you’ve covered all your bases, Sean. I mean, it’s not as if Mojo himself pulled the same stunt years ago…” She cut herself at the sound of something like a jet engine. Then she added, “Oh, wait. He did.”

Jamie/Warlock flew overhead, wings and engine pods sprouted from his back has he fired at the dragon-riding goblins with a blaster at the end one arm. She heard the crackle of Cyclops’ eyeblasts and Havoc’s plasma pulses from somewhere behind her. 

Rahne added sweetly, “Shall I tell you how that worked out for Mojo?” 

The cart rocked as Juggernaut landed on it, Illyana by his side with the soulsword blazing in her hand. Cain ripped the top off the cage and bent the bars. Rahne clambered out. 

Illyana brought the sword to Rahne’s collar. “Hold still.”

“Long as you don’t cut too deep.”

The sword touched the collar, and the collar crumbled into dust. Rahne brushed the remains away from her and transitioned to half wolf.

Illyana asked, “Are you all right?”

“Yeah. A bit woozy, but fine, I think.”

“Good.” The soulsword vanished and Illyana convulsively pulled Rahne into an embrace. “Don’t do that again,” she said into Rahne’s ear as she held the werewolf cheek to cheek. “Don’t leave me alone again.”

Rahne felt surprise at Illyana’s admission of vulnerability but knew better than to brush it off. She slowly returned the witch’s embrace. “It’s all right, Love, it’s all right. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t plan on this excursion, and I’ve no plans to go away again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good. Because next time I might just hunt you down and kill you.”

Rahne chuckled. “You’ll try--”

“INCOMING!” Juggernaut shouted. He pushed the two girls aside an instant before Wolverine sailed through the place they had been standing and landed roughly on the front of the cart. Cain looked in the direction Wolverine had come from and saw the large armored troll heading towards the cart.

Wolverine got on his feet and yelled, “Karma!?”

Karma came to the side of the cart. “I have the other soldiers under control,” she said, “but I can’t reach that one’s mind.”

Cain made a fist and punched his other palm. “Well,” he said with a grin, “I guess we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way.”

He jumped off the cart and ran at the troll and slammed several punches into it that would have staggered the Hulk. The troll just smirked and hit Juggernaut with a dismissive backhand. Juggernaut was sent sprawling.

Rahne said, “Do we have anything bigger than a Juggernaut?”

“One thing,” Illyana said.

A stepping disk appeared above the ground in front of the troll.

Illyana jammed two fingers into her mouth and whistled.

S’Ym dropped out of the disk, landed in front of the troll, and decked it with a punch whose impact Rahne felt in her chest. “Stay down!” S’Ym ordered. “Leave my boss and her friends alone.” He turned to Judggernaut. “You’re welcome.”

Juggernaut got to his feet. “I ain’t thanking you for nothing, demon! I had him on the ropes. I was just wearing him down. I would have had him in another minute if you hadn’t butted in.”

“Suuuuuurrrrrrre you would have, suuuuuuuuurrrrrreee you would have.”

Juggernaut took a step forward. “Watch your mouth, man! I’m the avatar of Cyttorak.”

“Cyttorak,” S’Ym mocked. “Ooooh, I’m sooooo scared.” S’Ym guffawed. “I know more about that loser than Belasco ever imagined. I bet you didn’t know that Cyttorak’s a--”

They turned at a roar and saw the troll had got to his feet. But then a golden energy bolt flashed between Juggernaut and S’Ym and hit the troll square in the chest. It fell over backwards. This time there was no sign it was going to get up again.

Man and demon turned to look in the direction bolt had come from and saw Dani Moonstar, grinning, holding an enormous high-tech rifle.

Cain stammered, “Dani? Where the hell did you get that thing?”

“Oh, Kid Cable loaned this to me for this job in case I needed more firepower.” She patted the side of the gun. “Momma like!” She turned and headed back to the caravan.

Juggernaut and S’Ym turned back to the troll, who still wasn’t moving. Then Juggernaut said, “You know, we had him on the ropes.”

“Yeah,” S’Ym affirmed, “we’d worn him out.”

“If Dani hadn’t come along when she did—not that I’m saying she shouldn’t have—we would have taken him out anyway.”

“Absolutely!”

Witnessing the ersatz bonding spectacle from the cart, Rahne said, “Frail ego, thy name is--”

“Excuse me,” Cyclops said from over their shoulders, “but did I hear that right? Did my son give Dani a rifle?”

Rahne said, “Well…” Then noticed the air rippling behind cyclops. “Uh-oh.”

Cyclops looked over his shoulder. Black smoke billowed and widened into a portal several meters wide. Dozens of soldiers in black armor with nasty looking spears surged out and began to surround the caravan.

“Everybody!” Cyclops called. “We have incoming.”

S’Ym and the X-Men lined up to either side of Cyclops just as the last two soldiers came through. Then a red beast about the size of a horse came through. It had three heads that looked like dog heads, on long, snake-like necks, and it was ridden by a woman wearing a red dress and a golden crown. Jewels hung from her ears, around her neck, and glittered on her fingers. An attendant demon jogged alongside the beast, holding a goblet and a bottle of wine.

After the beast, its rider, and the demon had come through, the portal collapsed. The beast stopped facing the X-Men and the woman dismounted. The demon poured whatever-it-was into the goblet and handed it to the woman. She took a sip.

Cyclops advised, “Easy people. We’re still outnumbered. No sudden moves.”

Rahne murmured, “Three heads? But it should be seven.”

The woman seemed to have heard. She crossed to Rahne. “What do you think you know, girl?” she demanded. “Out with it!” 

Rahne licked her lips and quoted nervously, “‘And upon her forehead a name written, mystery, Babylon the great, the mother of harlots and abominations of the earth.’”

The woman grinned. “I knew you were a King James girl!” she said. “Right from the moment Illyana told me about you, I said, ‘I’d wager she’s a King James girl,’ didn’t I, Illyana?”

Illyana smiled. “Yes, Babs, you did.”

Babs turned back to Rahne. “Of course, Illyana said, ‘Uh, I dunno, the Bibles’ the Bible.’ No appreciation for fine literature. But yes, Rahne—it is Rahne, isn’t it?—I am the one you know as the Whore of Babylon. But you and your compatriots may call me Babs.”

“M’Lady,” Rahne said reflexively. “Well, to your point, I supposed the King James is my personal favorite. But I was a deacon of a church and they prefer--”

“Oh, I know! No appreciation for the King James’ majestic language, just dumb it down for the throngs. The demonic translations are even worse. If I translated them into your tongue, you would die of thirst just from crying.”

“What, demons have the Bible?”

“Why not? There are dangers, to be sure, but don’t humans have dangerous indulgences? And there is something to be said for allowing some freedom of expression.”

“I…suppose that’s one way of looking at it. But getting back to the bits about…you…the Bible says the Beast has seven heads, and that one has only three. Do you have more than one?”

“No, just the one. That was…well, among other things, it was an in-joke between me and John. Beastie would get into something he shouldn’t have, and John would say something like, ‘Are you sure there are only three heads? Because I was watching all of them! He must have another one or two.’”

“You knew John of Patmos?”

“Yes…Biblically, if you take my meaning. But it didn’t last, and I must confess that some of the bad press I get is well deserved. But I am still very proud of John! It’s been what, 2000 years, and you people are still arguing about his book! What author could ask for more?”

“And, um, how do you know Illyana, M’Lady?”

“‘Babs’ is fine, Rahne; we don’t have to stand on ceremony. I feel like I know you. Anyway, Illyana came through some time ago after she…I guess you could say ‘came back’…and she was hunting for her bloodstones. To make a long story short, we found ourselves targeted for assassination by the same parties and decided two swords were better than one. The rest is history. And yes, that was when she told me all about you and the other New Mutants and all the adventures she’d had with you.”

“Just one thing…Babs,” Rahne said. “‘The Whore of Babylon’ can’t possibly be your name.”

“No, Rahne, it’s not.”

“Would you mind me asking what it is?”

Babs sneezed.

“God Bles—er—”

“It’s all right, Rahne,” Babs said, “but that wasn’t a sneeze. That’s my name. And in your tongue, it means ‘burned flowers.’ What kind of name is that for a girl? Even a demoness? I ask you.”

“I can see why you prefer ‘Babs--’”

“Yes, all well and good!” Sean shouted as he led his band of leprechauns to stand before Babs. “That’s fine and dandy. We’re friends now. Just lovely. But by your own law, Babs, which you famously apply impartially, these X-Idiots have interfered with lawful commerce in your realm. I want them all clapped in irons and I demand compensation! Having them all added to my inventory would suffice.”

Babs sipped her wine. “Hmm. You’re right, Sean, they have broken my law…or they would have if you hadn’t already broken it first.”

“W-what?” Sean stammered. “What are you talking about?”

“My edict against disturbing the peace of my realm with a conflict you brought in from outside, and you most certainly did.” Babs gestured at Rahne. “I mean honestly, selling this delightful creature into slavery so you could get revenge for her interfering with some of your other hairbrained schemes? That’s a new low, even for you. And coming from me, that says something.” Another sip. “There’s nothing for it. I shall have to confiscate all your wares, and anyone you had kidnapped from another world is free to go.”

“What…” Sean managed. “You can’t do that!”

Babs loomed over the leprechaun and a dangerous edge crept into her voice: “Can’t I?”

“Oh,” Sean said, aware of how much danger he was actually in, “of course, it’s your realm, you can do whatever you want. Your Highness.”

“Hmm.” Babs drank some more as she looked off into the distance.

“But the thing is,” Sean went on, “I need some consideration. I’m on the hook for some warm bodies and owe money to some tough customers who’ll be a bit cross with me if I don’t deliver. I could use some help here. M’Lady.”

Babs seemed not to have heard. Then she said, “No.”

“No?” Sean said.

“No.”

“What ‘no,’ Babs? You mean no, you won’t help me?”

“No, Sean, I mean no, you are not on the hook to anyone for anything. I wouldn’t have allowed Illyana to mount this rescue if she had not addressed the concerns of all parties involved. She managed to find someone who cleared your debts. You have nothing to be worried about.”

“Oh, she did?” He turned to Illyana. “That’s right decent of you, considering the circumstances. Thank you!” Back to Babs. “So, Babs, that means me and me lads are free to go, yes?”

“No, Sean you’re not. Well, you are leaving my realm, but not the way you think.”

8

8

“Hello, Sean,” Odin said with a broad smile. He stood on a dock, but where there should have been water, the void of space beckoned. An Asgardian astral ship was berthed at the dock.

“Lord Odin!” Sean said. He stood at the head of the leprechauns. The others were lined up behind him, chains connecting the collars around their necks. Babs waited behind them with S’Ym and the X-Men. “It’s, uh, it’s been a long time, sir.”

“Yes, Sean, it’s been quite some time since you tried to sell the rainbow bridge. But I understand you have kept busy.”

“Well, one does what one has to do in this economy, sir.”

Odin’s smile broadened. “I normally don’t condone slavery, but when Babs and Lady Illyana told me it would be you, I thought helping rebuild Asgard would be a good way for you to work off your debt to my people.”

“Absolutely, sir! Got to get the golden realm up and running again. And you won’t find better than leprechaun workmanship.”

“I was hoping you would see it that way,” Odin said. “So, shall we go?”

“Of course,” Sean said. “Right lads! Onward!” They started marching: “Hup, hoop, hreep, horp, hup, hoop, hreep, horp…” And he led the leprechauns onto the ship. Odin bowed to Babs and followed them aboard.

Babs turned to the mutants. “Well! You must all be tired and hungry, and after this eventful day, I won’t hear of you leaving without sampling my hospitality. You must be feted.”

Cyclops smiled. “Thank you, ma’am, but we really have a lot of problems back home and we should be on our way.”

“I beg your pardon?” Babs said, the edge creeping back into her voice. “Master Cyclops, am I to understand you are refusing my hospitality?”

Illyana tensed. At Cyclops’ elbow, Wolverine hissed, “Cyyyyyyyyykeee….”

Cyclops cleared his throat. “Well, now that you mention it, it has been a long day and we are all tired. And we could use a break. A party sounds like a great idea. So on behalf of all of us, I accept. But…ah…can we go home and change real quick?”

Babs smiled. “Of course! You must be dressed comfortably and appropriately as your culture dictates. But don’t be too long. I do so hate it when my guests are late. Don’t I, Illyana?”

“Don’t worry, Babs,” Illyana said. “I’ll have ‘em back before you knew we were gone.”

8

8

Dressed in a red dress, otherwise human except for her horns peaking out from under her bangs, Illyana made her way through the mixed crowd of humans, demons, non-humans, and none-of-the-above in the great hall of Babs’ palace. The Biblical personage presided over the hall from her throne while a group of musicians played to one side. Her friends wearing suits and dresses from modern day Earth while everyone else was wore the robes and cloaks of medieval times gave the place the feel of the set of a bizarre sci-fi/fantasy movie. ‘The story of my life,’ Illyana thought. As she moved through the crowd, she noticed Dani and Scott to one side, in a conversation that had been going on for some time.

Illyana made her way to a table where Rahne was sitting alone, nursing a goblet. 

Illyana sat down next to Rahne and said, “I think we’re going to be visiting Dani’s parents soon.”

“‘Danielle Moonstar Dayspring Askani Summers,’” Rahne slurred. “Oh my God. Isn’t that family messed up enough?” She paused. “Did that come out wrong?”

Illyana chuckled. “I think you’re a little drunk.”

“I think I’m a lot drunk.”

“I think Babs really likes you. She doesn’t get the good stuff out for just anybody.”

“Oh, aye, me hammered on the blood of saints in the Whore of Babylon’s palace. Will I ever be able to show my face in church again?”

“Actually, ‘Blood of Saints’ is just a brand name.”

“Really?”

“Mmm-hmmm. Seems demons invented marketing. Comes with being able to tempt people.”

“Huh. Something to remember for the online Bible chats. Can get kind off-the-wall sometimes.” Rahne drank the last of her goblet’s contents, then turned to Illyana with a serious look on her face. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Coming after me.”

“Rahne, remember how drunk you are?”

“All the more reason to say this now, ‘Yana, before I’m sober enough to change my mind. 

“I know I haven’t always been the best friend to you. We’ve never been close. There are people you share your deepest secrets with, people you know better than you know yourself. That’s never been us. Try as hard as I can, I can’t completely get past you being a witch and a demon and not entirely human. And don’t get me started on the headaches I get when I try to figure out if you’re the Illyana I grew up with or a copy of her.

“But maybe none of that matters. You’ve always been there for me, even when I didn’t want you to be. And just today, in that cage, I wasn’t worried because I knew you would come for me. I knew it, sure as I know my own name. And I know in my soul that if you were in danger, nothing could stop me from going after you, and I would save you or die trying. 

“And maybe that’s all that matters, and the rest, I should just learn to let this go, so we can do this properly for once. So, it’s time for me to say something I should have said years ago: Welcome home, Illyana. It’s good to have you back.” 

Illyana smiled and pulled Rahne into a hug. “It’s good to be back, Rahne. I missed you.”

Dani’s voice intruded: “Group hug!” The Cheyenne -Mutant-Valkyrie threw her arms around both her old friends and they settled into the odd huddle. “So,” Dani asked, “what are hugging for? Other than proving we’re blitzed out of our minds.”

Rahne smiled. “Friendship, Dani. The best reason of all.”

8

8  
_Alystraea sits on her white horse, looking along the road that extends to and around the sun-drenched hills, as Bright Moon and Evelle ride their horses up to stop on either side of her._

_Evelle says to Alystraea, ‘Well, sister, we’ve sorted out the Kingdom of Rosenberg. Where do we go from here?’_

_‘Wherever the road takes us,’ Alystraea answers. ‘You with me, you silly demon?’_

_‘Of course.’_

_Alystraea turns to Bright Moon._

_Bright Moon smiles. ‘Do you have to ask?’_

_‘Right,’ Alystraea says. ‘Let’s be off, then.’_

_And the three princesses ride off into the hills and on to new adventures._

 

**Never The End**


End file.
